been carrying around this sack of bees ever since my grandmother told me beauty is in the eye of the bee holder. to be honest sometimes I wish she had never told me this information
It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life.
You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.
every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up
ah but when you turn 34 you’re two dancing queens and thus having twice the time of your life. and at 51 you become the dancing triumvirate and three golden crowns are forged in your honor
lots to look forward to
SpongeBob, where’s my order?
Did you look under the tray?
Oh. No I didn’t, sorry.
in honor of Mean Girls’ 10th anniversary, here’s an incredibly subtle but completely extraordinary joke that you’ve probably never noticed from the movie (I saw it at least a dozen times before it dawned on me): Regina George started a rumor that Janis Ian was a lesbian in the 8th grade, but it wasn’t out of malice… it was because Janis told her that she was Lebanese
"i’m not bitter" i say, bitterly, with a bitter expression
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty