seriousjones:

A girl was excited for her sweet 16, and she asked her boyfriend to buy her a car. He said yes. The night of the party, he didn’t come. She was very sad. Then she found out he’d died trying to drive two cars at once to her party. Like this if you love your boyfriend.

(via lady-stonedheart)

metalsette:

there’s a rip off of bee movie called plan bee and this is what the characters look like and I am no longer afraid to die

(Source: qlitterbabe, via lady-stonedheart)

officialunitedstates:

been carrying around this sack of bees ever since my grandmother told me beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.  to be honest sometimes I wish she had never told me this information

(via foreveralone-lyguy)

princekarkat:

for some reason i thought both of these were the same post and i sat for awhile trying to figure out which ice cream face was the weak bitch

(Source: princeloptr, via juliasamuelson)

incredulousbeliever:

dionthesocialist:

It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life.

You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.

(Source: dion-thesocialist, via juliasamuelson)

(via maeveism)

robotmango:

gooqueen:

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

ah but when you turn 34 you’re two dancing queens and thus having twice the time of your life. and at 51 you become the dancing triumvirate and three golden crowns are forged in your honor

lots to look forward to

(via vanillish)

tsarbucks:

first of all what

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

(Source: takeusforcola, via giroman)

(Source: skypestripper, via squidwurd)

500daysofeffyou:

SpongeBob, where’s my order?

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Did you look under the tray?

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Oh. No I didn’t, sorry.

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(via giroman)

inoriaizawa:

in honor of Mean Girls’ 10th anniversary, here’s an incredibly subtle but completely extraordinary joke that you’ve probably never noticed from the movie (I saw it at least a dozen times before it dawned on me): Regina George started a rumor that Janis Ian was a lesbian in the 8th grade, but it wasn’t out of malice… it was because Janis told her that she was Lebanese

(via zackisontumblr)

jaclcfrost:

"i’m not bitter" i say, bitterly, with a bitter expression

(via zackisontumblr)

princess-of-lore:

mycheekyfinn:

official-nasa:

monilip:

dont-stop-runninggg:

knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit

wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad 

That was deep

philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie

That was deeper.

common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty

(Source: whattt-fucking-ever, via juliasamuelson)

telapathetic:

When you check ur phone in the middle of the night

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(Source: telapathetic, via lolsofunny)